Gender Non-Conforming – Shoes

Today I am more than bit nervous.  Why?  Well because I am at work with female shoes on.  The shoes that I have pictured above are the ones that I am currently wearing.

And aren’t they totally different from the male shoes that I normally wear, which are the ones pictured above?  OMG, they are so totally different!  I mean, can you see the pink splash of the Saucony symbol across the side of the female shoes?  I mean if anybody were to see that I would surely be pitchforked, right?

Well, I decided to call BS on myself yesterday and buy the shoes regardless of what my inner meanie voices were saying.  I had gone to Famous Footwear here in my town while on a break from work with the specific intent on buying some female shoes that I felt as though I could wear to work.  This is something I have been doing a bit more of lately.

Here are some shoes that I have been wearing to work.  They are female, and I have never gotten anything but nice positive comments about them.  I work with a couple of people who really like Converse and they were sure to tell me how much they liked the ones I wear.  Super nice!

But I have been down to one pair of tennis shoes, male ones, and I think it is better to have more than one pair of tennis shoes, otherwise they wear out so quickly.  Thus I decided to try and find some female ones.  And in Famous Footwear, I found some, the ones pictured at the top.  But after trying them on and experiencing the fabulous fit, I decided that they were much too fem looking for me to be able to comfortably wear them while dressed as a male.  And I left them sitting on the bench and walked out of the store.

As I was walking back to my truck, I looked down at my fingernails.

And there I was.  Contemplating my own messed up voices.  So, my super obvious female styled nails are fine, but shoes with a bit of pink on them, yeah, that’s not okay.  My two pairs of female Converse, yeah those are fine and I wear them all the time, but shoes with a little bit of pink on them, not okay.  Wow!  I am messed in the head!

I returned to work and pondered my twisted up perceptions.  For the next few hours I questioned myself and returned again and again to the question of, if I am okay with myself, then why not buy the shoes?  What is the worst that would happen?  Someone might ask me about my new shoes with some pink on them.  I was all twisted up about a color.  A color that apparently I had deemed as not appropriate for a guy to wear.  Even a guy with his nails painted.  Even a guy who has both of his ears pierced.  Even a guy who wears a diamond and sapphire wedding ring.  Wow, seriously?

So I called BS on myself and I went and bought the shoes.  And today I have them on my feet and I am at work!  Wow, small victories huh?  Yeah well I have not made it through the day yet.  Who knows maybe I will still be pitchforked at some point!

Okay.  Sounds great.  Then how come I am still unwilling to wear my pair of super hot pink Saucony tennis shoes to work?

Wow, is it too much for me?  Do I not want to wear this pair of super female shoes while dressed as a guy?  Or do I think they violate the guy dress code far too much?  Hmm??????  Just when I think I have myself figured out I find yet another area that I can’t quite figure out.

I like to think of these things as an unsolved Rubic’s Cube.  I pick it up, twist it about.  Try out different combinations.  I can’t quite figure it out, so I set it down and let it sit while I observe it from a distance.  Occasionally I will go over, pick it up, twist it around, ponder it, and then set it down again.

I don’t think there is a solution to the puzzle, just different combinations.

Hmm…..

Hot pink…..

Guy dress code violations……

Hmm…….

Painted fingernails, totally fine……

Hmm……..

Just when I think I have it figured out……

Love you!

Wear more pink!